How to specify the default button in UI dialog?

How to specify the default button in UI dialog?

Hi,
(I noticed that there is already a similar msg in the forum, going back to Feb 2010).

I'd like to use the dialog but need to be able to specify the default button.
For example, when I ask the user to confirm the deletion of a record, I need to show the buttons as 'Yes' followed by 'No' but with the 'No' button selected, so if the user presses Enter or Space, the No button will trigger.

Cheers,
Nick