NEWBIE HELP: I just want to play my movie without autostarti

NEWBIE HELP: I just want to play my movie without autostarti

OK....

I'm sorta new to PHP, Flash, and JAVA... but not new to the concepts of programming.

I have a site with flash videos on it. I would like them to have some way for the user to play them - (and know to play them) - without using autostart. All of my searching the internet has lead me to this script, "jquery", but I can't find anything SIMPLE to explain how to add a play button/menu/control to my flash piece.

I'm guessing I'm not the first to ask, but all search results I tried in this, and every other, forum resulted in stuff too far out of my league or not relevant.

Is there a parameter I can set? A property to change? Any ideas would be awesome.