JΛ̊KE - (cool name) I feel like a fool, but I really appreciate your response. I did this in a hurry and should not have!
I fixed the code to reflect the actual problem I was having (above) please feel free to edit your first post as well so this post is more readable (This is my OCD speaking, but if you'd prefer I'll revert it to it's original ugly state). Also just so we're on the same page, the missing "dot" in ".slab-pane" was a typo, but unrelated to the question I'm trying to solve.
If it would help to setup a fiddle with actual HTML let me know and I would be happy to oblige. Otherwise I'm asking:
Why does .first() prevent any subsequent .end()'s in a jQuery chain from working as expected?
And again - thank you.